In memory of my loved English-teacher Mr. Robert Oswald from Deggendorf:
Two years we have left behind since the day we got to know.
First, I thought:"Oh my God! A slaver!!" Because of your letting me fetch a cup of coffee for you.
You were interested in me by the first time you could have a watch on me.
But I not. Or better said, I didn´t want to. I knew this was simply impossible.
But I couldn´t stay strong.
After you´ve made me to the "First-Lady" of the class, you won my heart, for every further beat of it, for the rest of my life. I fell in love...depper and depper...and deeper.
It has been so sweet of you to play Santa Claus on Christmas and give us our presents.
You called me "the woman with feelings", you called me "FIORELLA"
I spent so many lessons only to burn a detailistic picture of you in my head, so that i could draw you and make littel carricatures and comics. Finally, always you got them, read them, and I could make you laugh. What you usually never do. Then you put them into you your breast-pocket of your shirt.
Then came Valentine´s Day .... and you gave a rose to me ... I thought miracles could come true!
Hopelessly devoted to you!
But then, I was pushed off of my throne.
And Ana gave me her hand ... surely I took it. My life changed from one second to the other.
I didn´t want to eat anymore....
I wanted to be more beautiful ...only, yes, only for you!!!
I didn´t eat my bread at school....
I didn´t eat anything, nothing, rien, niente ....
I didn´t even drink anything, nothing, rien, niente....
I was off my forces, couldn´t laugh anymore .... I was too weak, too feable!
You missed me, my jokes during lessons, my glimming eyes, just me. You said that you were scared, asked me, what was happening to me, what was wrong with me?
I LIED!!! I gave you just a little clue:" I think, I´m too fat, too."
"Too fat???", you said, "No, I would say, you´re perfect!!"
I couldn´t believe you....and carried on.
I lost more and more weight.
I tried to be the same like before, but I couldn´t. I was too weak, too feable.
Finaly, I got into prison, into therapy.
After that, our relationship was never the same. I really fought for you, for you bloody love! For heaven´s sake!
Now, we both have left the school, where we met the first time, the first sight. We couldn´t even say good bye to eech other.
The others only told me that you wanted them to give me a kiss form you.
Can it be, that you still love me?
But I´ll never see you again.
You´re there, I´m there.
But if you should ever read this, tell me, if you´ve cried just one tear because of you!